jesus loves me this i know

I used to think that “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle”…but I have come to realize He does. He really does give us more than we can handle so that we will rely…lean into Him. He gives us more than we can handle so that we learn to trust Him. So we can realize our need for Him.

Last week my Dad passed away in a tragic accident. I have never felt this much pain before. It is a pain I never knew existed and my heart aches in a way I never knew it could. I have been through many emotions. Sadness, shock, peace, joy, more sadness and anger.

My Dad was a Believer. He loved the Lord and I know that He is with Jesus and that brings much peace to my soul.

When all of this happened I proclaimed out loud…shouted out loud…GOD YOU ARE GOOD. GOD YOU ARE STILL GOOD. I do believe that…but my soul and my heart ache that I will never see my Dad again…not until Heaven. Last week I felt so much comfort from the Lord and this week I feel myself building up walls. I don’t know how to stop that. I don’t know if that is part of the grieving process…but as much as I don’t want to build up walls…I really do want to close myself off. I know that sounds awful! I just don’t really want to talk to anyone. Or see anyone. I just want to be alone. Probably the worst thing I could do! But that is just where I am in all of the pain.

Jesus loves me this I know. This I will cling to. Jesus does love me. And my Mom. And my siblings. And our spouses. And all the grandchildren {11}. He loved my Dad and decided to take him to his “permanent home” on June 24th. God knows his plans for us. Nothing surprises him. Nothing slips through his hands.

I have learned so much through my Dad’s death. I hope to use this blog as a place to share that along with all my memory keeping for my children.

 

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. Psalm 116:15