cravings

“He who is satisfied has never truly craved,” said Abraham Heschel, and he said this, I think, because he knew that heaven’s richest food does not satisfy our longings but rather intensifies them.” Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul

I’m at home this morning missing an incredible celebration service at our church and also missing out on supporting my husband at a Missions Conference at another church. I’m sitting in bed with the beautiful sun beaming through the windows after finishing a very quick time with the Lord…listening to Josie through the monitor and the boys watching TV. Wyatt has strep throat, that’s why we are home. And what is even more a bummer is that the pharmacies close at 8pm on Saturday nights and don’t open until 10 am on Sunday mornings. My poor boy. Sounds like I am complaining. I guess I am.

I am craving the Lord, yet I find it extremely hard to find time to spend with him. I should get up early before the kids but I have not been able to get myself out of bed. I should go to bed earlier and then I might not have that problem, but then I love the down time at night while the kids are in bed and can’t seem to turn off my TV or my computer. Maybe that’s when I should or could be giving my time to Jesus.

I’m thankful the Lord knows my heart and my thoughts without me having to say a word out loud or write on paper. That’s what I wrote in my journal this morning. It’s true. Thank you Lord that you know my anxious thoughts, my worries and fears, my frustrations, my pain, my tiredness, my aching of this world, my hopes, my dreams, my loves and my joys.

I know I have said this a bunch: having 3 kids is hard! And I know in some ways it will get easier but also let’s face it…we are outnumbered. It’s been almost 9 months since we have had Josie and I can’t get in a good rhythm with anything. Time with the Lord, exercising, cooking, laundry,  my home, Wyatt’s kindergarten paper work, taking a shower! I’m thankful the Lord cares about prayers of even the littlest of things. Dear Lord, please help me to come up with a meal plan. Please help me to find a way to get my laundry put away!

Really, He cares about this kind of stuff. So thank you Lord that even though I am not celebrating/worshiping with the body of Christ, you have still met with me. Still listened to me. Still carved out a time for me to spend with you. Even with Sid the Science Kid in the background and Boone asking me a bajillion times for some goldfish.