psalm 139

I’ve been more emotional the last couple days and I think that could just be the beginning {thanks for your patience Andy!} Wyatt had VBS this week and one day I came home and sat in my car and just cried. I had heard a song that triggered some emotions and to be honest it felt good to just let the tears flow. Andy pulled up with Boone and didn’t know what was going on. I can only imagine his thoughts to see his wife sitting in her car, bawling, but I assured him I was ok. I cried about Wyatt getting ready for Kindergarten and not having him at home with me anymore. About Boone turning 3 next month. About all the fun things we do as a family of 4 and how I am trying to wrap my brain around having 3 children. How things will be different {I did this same thing when I was pregnant with Boone…it’s just all part of the change and how I deal horribly with change}. But I think I mostly cried because I have spent very little time with Jesus.

This morning we had a “family quiet time”…Wyatt’s idea. Thank you Lord, really. He told Andy he wanted us all to come and sit down and read our bibles and then write something down. So we all went into the “Cozy Nook” {what we call our sitting room} with bibles in hand and read. Well, Boone colored and talked and Wyatt lost his patience with Boone because he wouldn’t be quiet, but I think Andy and I were able to spend a little time with the Lord and experience His love and goodness even in the middle of chaos. I have read Psalm 139 tons of times but this morning I felt the Lord telling me to go there and read it again. He had this for me:

You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Psalm 139:5-6

I want more mornings like this. More intimate times with my Savior. Even in the chaos of my kids, I still want it. I need to hear from my Lord that His hand is upon me and that I am doubled back and stitched down in Christ.