this makes my heart beat

So when God grants me the healing I could not expect ( whether of my body or my spirit-or of the bodies and spirits of those I love) that is mercy to me.

So when peace comes into me, though I had been desperately restless and afraid; and when I, who am weak, act with surprising strength; and when faith arises in my hopeless soul; and when I, whose heart was filled with hatreds, suddenly find forgiveness  there; and when others love me, though I know I could not be the source of their loving; and when my children come home with reverence; and when the work of my hand praises God beyond my natural skill; and when what I am is what I ought to be-whenever the impossible gift arrives for me, it is God. It is evidence of his love. It is his mercy so great, that those around me (my neighbors and relatives) are astonished to find me in such a blessed condition after all.

We have not enticed God here by sweetness, lovableness, goodness, faithfulness, prayers, kneelings, pieties, manifest obediences. Immanuel is here on his own recognizance, according to his own lights and his love.

-Preparing for Jesus by Walter Wangerin Jr.